How to Know When an Elderly Parent Can’t Live Alone–and What to Do
There’s a moment many adult children fear but eventually face: the realization when your elderly parent can’t live alone. You may have noticed small changes over time—an occasional missed meal, a chore left unfinished, or a minor stumble they insisted was nothing. Or perhaps these changes emerged all at once. In either case, it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions and uncertainty as you try to understand what all of this means.
If you’re supporting someone through these changes, you may find yourself:
Worried about elderly relatives but unsure what do
Wondering how to talk with your elderly parents about your concerns
Feeling pressure to figure out what kind of help for old people living alone is available
If any (or all) of the above statements are true of you, you’re in the right place.
This article provides insight and reassurance as you navigate these changes. You’ll learn about the signs a senior needs help at home, what to consider as you evaluate their needs, and the different care options for elderly parents who want to age at home.
Understanding When an Elderly Parent Can’t Live Alone
It’s not always easy to tell when living alone has become unsafe—but there are signs to watch for.
The Top Signs a Senior Needs Help at Home
Every family’s situation is different. But if you notice any of the following, it may be time to consider extra support for your loved one:
Increasing forgetfulness: Missed medications, unopened mail, overdue bills, or repeated conversations.
Changes in eating habits: Skipped meals, expired food in the refrigerator, or noticeable weight loss.
Mobility challenges: Trouble walking, frequent bumps or bruises, balance issues, recent falls, or difficulty going up and down stairs.
Declines in personal hygiene: Wearing the same clothes for days, difficulty bathing, or avoiding grooming tasks.
Household disorganization: Clutter, piles of laundry, or safety hazards like loose rugs or poor lighting.
Withdrawing from daily life: A sudden lack of interest in socializing, leaving the house, or participating in activities they used to enjoy.
Cognitive changes: Confusion, getting lost, forgetting familiar steps in daily routines, or difficulty managing appliances safely.
Seeing any of these signs should raise concerns about leaving an elderly parent alone.
When Should a Person with Dementia Stop Living Alone?
When dementia is involved, timing becomes even more important. Even in the early stages, cognitive changes can affect judgment, memory, and the ability to respond to emergencies. And because decline can be unpredictable, someone may seem capable one day and far less the next.
It may be time to seek support if your parent with dementia exhibits any of these signs:
Wandering or getting lost
Forgetting to turn off the stove or appliances
Mistaking medications or skipping them altogether
Struggling to follow simple tasks that they once handled easily
Becoming anxious, agitated, or disoriented
Asking the same questions repeatedly or becoming confused about time, dates, or daily routines
A person with dementia may still feel strongly about living independently, but the risks can increase quickly.
What to Do When You’re Worried About an Elderly Relative
Once you’ve started to recognize the signs that your loved one may need help living at home, the next steps are to:
Have a conversation with your parents about their need for assistance
Assess your aging loved one’s level of need
Explore different care options for elderly parents based on their needs
If you’re not sure how to move forward, here’s a simple breakdown to guide you through the process.
1. Talking With Your Parents About Their Need for Assistance
Starting the conversation isn’t always easy, but a thoughtful approach can make it go more smoothly. Here are a few strategies to help.
Speak with empathy, using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem more tired lately, and I’m worried about you,” instead of “You can’t keep doing things this way.”
Share observations, not accusations. Mention the specific changes you’ve seen—missed medications, falls, or confusion during routine tasks. This makes the conversation feel grounded in care rather than criticism.
Give them a voice and reassure them about your intentions. Ask how they’ve been feeling and whether they’ve noticed any of the same changes. Give them space to share what’s been difficult. Reassure them that you’re not trying to take over—you just want them to feel safe, supported, and comfortable.
This first conversation might not resolve everything, but it sets the tone moving forward. For many families, simply starting the dialogue helps ease the fear around becoming unable to live alone and opens the door to thoughtful, caring next steps.
2. Assessing Your Loved One’s Needs
Once the conversation has begun, the next step is understanding what kind of help your parent actually needs. For some, support a couple hours each day with a few daily tasks may be enough. For others, growing safety concerns make leaving an elderly parent alone risky, and they may need more advanced care.
To evaluate the level of care needed, consider these areas:
Daily Activities: Can your parent bathe, dress, groom, and use the bathroom independently?
Mobility and Fall Risk: Have there been recent falls, balance problems, or hesitation when walking?
Cognitive Health: Is there confusion, forgetfulness, or disorientation?
Medication Management: Are prescriptions being skipped, doubled, or mixed up?
Home Environment: Is the home still safe, clean, and organized?
Emotional Well-Being: Has your parent become withdrawn, anxious, or depressed?
If you want a more objective assessment, an expert in-home care professional can help evaluate your parent’s abilities and recommend appropriate support.
3. Exploring Care Options for Elderly Parents
With a clearer understanding of your parent’s needs, you can begin exploring different care options. Here are some of the most common areas of support for families with aging parents.
Respite Care
If you’re the primary caregiver for your loved one, it may be hard to juggle your own personal life with the responsibility of caring for your aging loved one. Respite care allows you to hire an in-home caregiver for a few hours a week. This can provide you with temporary relief, giving you time to rest or take care of personal responsibilities while ensuring your parent remains safe and supported.
In-Home Personal Care and Companion Care
The most common help for old people living alone is in-home personal care and companion care. In-home personal care provides your loved one with a trained caregiver to assist with daily activities such as bathing, dressing, grooming, mobility, and meal preparation. At the same time, the caregiver provides companionship, building a relationship with your loved one to help ease loneliness and isolation.
Advanced 24/7 In-home Care
If your parent needs more advanced, around-the-clock care, there’s also 24-hour care options. With 24/7 in-home care, a professional caregiver is always present to assist your loved one—whether it’s during daily routines or in the middle of the night. This constant support is especially helpful for parents with dementia or a high risk of falling.
Professional In-home Care for Your Elderly Loved Ones
Recognizing that your parent may no longer be safe living on their own can feel overwhelming. Between the constant worry for their well-being and the pressure of managing their care, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed
Thankfully, you’re not alone, and there are many resources available to help you and your aging loved one.
In this article, we’ve provided you with information on:
Common signs a senior needs help at home
How to talk with an aging loved one about their need for help
Assessing your loved one’s level of support
The different care options for elderly parents
This blog is a good starting point—but if your parent is unable to live alone and you’re unsure what to do next, expert guidance can make all the difference.
At Commonwise Home Care, we walk alongside families during moments just like this. Our Care Managers help you understand exactly what your parent needs, and our compassionate caregivers bring warmth, stability, and exceptional one-on-one support into your loved one’s daily life. Whether your parent needs a few hours of assistance a couple of days a week or more consistent care throughout the day and night, we’re here to keep them safe and supported–and give you peace of mind.
Contact us today to learn more about our comprehensive in-home care process. Our highly trained Care Manager and caregivers are ready to help when your elderly parents can’t live alone any longer.